Tango by We-Vibe
I have never cared for bullet vibrators, don’t ask me why, I have no real reason. But when I first started working in the with toy companies there was one bullet we sold non stop and was without a doubt one of our biggest sellers, the Tango by We-Vibe. I was intrigued. What was so special about it? Its just a small, slim vibrating piece of plastic.. I ordered one and when that bad boy arrived I took it home, charged it up, played with the speeds and settings and put it away in my toy box.. aaand that’s it.. I never used it. I imagine my little bullet as the kid that always gets picked last to be on the baseball team, one by one, all the other vibrators got to play, but lil tango was benched. Poor baby didn’t see the light of day until I decided I wanted to do toy reviews. What better product to start with than the most simple albeit popular toy on the market? Plus an opportunity to expand my mind in regards to bullets… It was destiny.
The Tango by WeVibe is a compact external vibrator with a tapered tip for “precise” clitoral stimulation. Marketed to women on the go, I always thought of the tango as living in a business womxn’s carryon luggage. A business womxn with shiny red hair, blown out to perfection, her French mani glistening under the fluorescent airport lighting. As I sat in bed, in my mums home-office-come-bedroom (my fresh digs after a particularly bad breakup), sporting a saggy tie-dye shirt and no underpants, inspecting the shiny pink toy in my hand, I thought about the business womxn and how different our lives were. Before I slipped into an existential crisis I decided it was time to masturbate.
I turned on my Tango and was immediately concerned for the health and safety of my clitoris. High frequency vibration and intense speeds, this thing was overwhelming just to hold! How was I supposed to put it on my lil magic mound?! As I watched it spin around in my hand (it was basically doing doughnuts, I was surprised it didn’t leave skid marks), I remembered something. The darns things got mode memory!
Toys with one button that function as power and navigation, can be really annoying. Scrolling through all of the modes every time, trying to find your fave one, ugh, I don’t have the time. The Tango has 8 modes but when you turn it on, it will be on the setting it was on when you last turned it off. wa-la, mode memory. Once I remembered this and assumed I had left it on high when I was first playing with it, I got it to its lowest setting and went forth…
JUST A QUICKY
If I am masturbating for the “release”, you know.. pent up, can’t sleep, bored, I need a mix of clitoral and labial stimulation. The tango is shaped for direct clitoral contact, so it just didn’t work for me in that way. “That” being the hard and fast orgasm. I can 100% see how it would be incredible for people who just need clit stimulation but for me it just left me feeling a bit… empty… like I was very aware of my vagina and how there was nothing in it.
AN EXPERIENCE
The quickie was a bit of a bust so the next test was on my date night with myself, how would the tango stand up in a longer and more “sensual” masturbation session? Well, this is a masturbation session I will never forget, because it started out like some awkward Ben Stiller noughties cringe comedy. Laying in bed, in my birthday suit, centred, relaxed, ready to go, I turned on the bullet and slowly moved it across my chest, something I saw in a video about nipple orgasms. “Trace the toy around your chest and breasts, working your way up to running the toy over your nipples”. My nipples are temperamental when it comes to sensitivity (I’m not going to go into it right now but I swear they have a mind of their own), so putting anything on them is a gamble. Keep that in mind along with the fact that the Tango on its lowest speed, is still hella fucking strong. I traced the bullet across my chest and the second it touched my nipple I let out a little yelp and threw the bullet away from me. Then I immediately thought of the time my friend got an electric shock when we were in Bali. Her leg jerked out and kicked a wall and she broke her pinky toe. Hilarious. Still chuckling, I retrieved the vibe, laid down on a towel (a must when using lube) and attempted to apply a pea size amount of lubricant to the toy. Pea size quickly became lychee size and the tango was so slippery it was legitimately spinning in my fingers, impossible to hold still. This is the “Ben Stiller” “Meet the Parents” type shit I don’t need when I am trying to get sexy with myself. THIS IS ALSO WHY I HAVE A LUBRICANT TOWEL, PEOPLE!
Slippery little sucker.I digress. I built up intensity using the bullet on my labia and that felt amazing, but when it came to having an orgasm, I just couldn’t get there. HOWEVER, when I coupled with other toys, I came. Hard. For example, laying on my stomach, coupled with my G-vibe, I had such crazy spasms my head was jerking around A La The Exorcist and when I used it with the Semilino, I had multiple orgasms and ejaculated.
PARTNERED PLAY
Knowing how successful Tango had been with the addition of penetration, I wanted to try the Tango with a partner. My friend (actually my crush from high school, story for another day..), ever so kindly volunteered.
Different positions and acts, the tango added crazy sensations while being small enough it didn’t get in the way of cunnilingus or penetration. Coupled with oral had me melted. I was a puddle. I was out of my body. I didn’t get creative using it anywhere on him and don’t have anything to report from his point of view. soz.
On the topic of partners - I hate that I even need to say this but when I was cruising sites selling tangos I saw some descriptions that used words like “inoffensive” when talking about introducing toys in the bedroom. As in it won’t make your partner feel frigen' fragile about the size of their weiner, so I guess if that is something you have to take into account with your other half, the tango ticks that box. A lot of power for something small and unassuming.
THE BREAKDOWN, THE SPECS, THE CLOSING ARGUMENTS
Let’s look at the toy itself. Tango is made from PC ABS thermoplastic, which is phthalate, latex and BPA free, if those words don’t mean anything to you, it means its body safe! Hooray. It is quiet, small and “discreet” so you can take it with you wherever you go. You get two hours play time from one full charge, and a handy lil “low battery indicator” lets you know when you need to pop it back on charge. No more toys dying mid-romp! Aaaand its fully submersible in water so you can take it in the bath or shower, not to mention, easy clean up. Included with the tango is the USB charging cable, a satin drawstring storage bag and a one year warranty. You can get yourself a Tango for around $100 which is on the pricier side of its category but honestly, I think it’s worth it if you're in the market for a good bullet.
So do I recommend the Tango? Depends. If you love clit stimulation, if you’re looking for something easy to slip into an over-night bag, if you want to add clit stimulation to any routine you already got going on or you want to introduce a small but intense toy to your partnered play - then yes!!! If you are looking to buy one of your first toys and are not sure where to start? probably not.
So, friends, thats my experience with the Tango. I laughed, I cried, I got lubricant everywhere and I got to fuck my high school crush #humblebrag. After having it for so long and never using it, I am now happy to report it is in regular rotation with the rest of the toys.
