The female body and its cyclical nature is an incredible thing. I try to appreciate my body in every phase of the menstrual cycle but tbh it can be a struggle. It is important to note that I am not on any type of “birth control” – no pills, no shots, no bars – nada. So I have to stay in touch with my body and the signs it gives me to know what phase I’m in. It usually takes me maybe 3 – 4 days of non-stop crying, eating, masturbating and being irrationally angry to realize that I’m about to get my period. And then it happens. Crippling back pain, bloating, cramps, diarrhoea, headaches, more crying, more eating, more masturbating!

These are the things that get me through LEAK WEEK. 

CYKLOKAPRON
This is a medication I take, its prescription, so I can’t recommend it to you ‘cos I ain’t a doctor honey. But it helps with the “weight” and duration (or severity) of my period. G’Bless Cyklo.

*EDIT I originally yammed on about how much I love Clarycalm from doTerra, but I recently found out that doTerra is an MLM company owned by Young Living, who we all know is shady as fuuuuuuck. So, I can no longer recommend doTerra. Nor can I use the last of my clarycalm roller without thinking about the millions of people victimised by Young Living.

WHEAT PACK

I have exploded so many of these fucking things in the microwave it’s not funny but they are an essential for me. I get the worst back pain so I don’t care if it’s the dead of summer and I am sweating my balls off, I will have my wheat pack, heated far beyond the instructions, pressed into my back. 

me every time a wheat pack explodes and I act like I didn’t put it on for 3 minutes over the recommended heating time.

PERIOD CUP

If I know I have a long day ahead, my cup gives me piece of mind that I am basically covered as it can hold more fluid. If I am travelling I don’t need to freak out trying to figure out when my period will hit, I can just chuck my cup and some period undies in my suitcase and its no big deal.

PERIOD UNDIES

I love my period undies. As I’ve gotten older and started using cyklokapron & clarycalm, my heavy days are down to like 2 days and I have about 2-3 light days and then I get another 2-3 days of chog*. I have a real aversion to using tampons when I know it’s so light its almost spotting, before period undies, I would just wear pads or stain my regular underwear. Now I have period undies!! I have enough pairs that I can wear them on my heavy days with a tampon or cup and at the end when its light by themselves. Love love love love love love love them.

*Chog, noun ch-OG

 The darker, thicker discharge usually experienced at the end of the period. It is still uterine lining, it just goes darker as it takes longer to drop from the uterus. Can also be used an as adjective ex. “I’m feeling a bit choggy today”.

This magical word was given to me by school BFF, Madison. Madison, thank you, just MWAH. Chefs kiss. Perfection.

PADS & TAMPONS

I have a love hate relationship with tampons. I think it is something like 70% of what the tampon absorbs is fluid other than blood, so your whole ph gets thrown off. Plus then the fibers get imbedded into your walls. Ugh. They are convenient though. I went through a stage, before cups and undies, where I didn’t use tampons at all and just used pads and that was a nightmare. Since then, as people have started to become more aware of the manufacturing process and “ingredients” in tampons, more health conscious and natural products have become available. *do do do doooo announcement trumpet * Tsuno and TOM, my fave brands.

Anyway Im gunna go watch videos of puppies and super cuts of new girl best moments and cry.

Already crying.